12 steps to growth
Intro
It all begins with an idea. And hope. Take your time settling into the coaching space and tell us all about it. We won’t have much feedback, just openness, curiosity, and an ear to listen.
Attorney Meeting
Before you meet with your doula for a 2nd time you’ll want to meet with an attorney. Use the doula space to unpack your experience meeting with the attorney. Be sure the attorney talks with you about 102, 103, custody, support, community property, and any other burning concerns you have.
Other Experts
You’ll want to make appointments with a mental health professional, like a counselor or therapist. There are often hidden trauma experiences that a coach and/or an attorney is not trained to handle. Further, you’ll want to meet with a financial professional. Your doula will be sure you’re comfortable with these professionals and be sure you feel yourself growing and opening your new chapter of life.
Talking with Family
The whole goal of divorce doula is to allow clients to have a non-family, non-friend based support system. Total confidentiality. This way you can use us to brainstorm who your best family support system persons are, use us to brainstorm how to talk with the kids and your parents about what’s going on.
Procedure
When going through a legal case, it can be as simple as signing documents or as difficult as going to court. Take time to talk with the current and future procedure with your doula.
Custody/Parenting
Creating a parenting plan, helping kids feel loved at all times, and other logistics help you feel right about what’s going on. Also, we like to talk with clients about non-biological child issues- whether it’s the children you didn’t have or it’s the stepkids you’re figuring a new relationship with.
Substances + Violence
At the very least, use this session to talk about how other people in your life have had substance issues or violent outbursts. If you truly have issues of your own, coaching may be a great backboard to help supplement a good counselor or therapist.
Support (Income and Expenses)
Talking about money is so hard! Having a safe space to do so with a coach will make it do-able. This session is for talking about past experiences and future predictions (and how is the present going?!) for making money and spending money.
Property (Assets and Debts)
Some people feel guilt or shame when talking about finances. Let your divorce doula listen to your underlying feelings. This is your personal net worth discussion.
Last 3 steps:
We only listed 9 steps above because that’s the hardest part. Once you’re through that, we want you to feel ready to take ownership of the next chapter of your life. Here are the last three steps!
Special Issues
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. Military divorces, special needs child, medically needy child, etc. will be very important to discuss. You can also take time to update your personal life to your coach- weight, health, hobbies, etc. It’s about YOU.
Agreement Updates
It’s been 10 weeks of the divorce or family law process- what results have you attained? None? That’s ok too! How have you changed? Take time to update your coach on the choices you’ve made that have lead to agreement or negotiation or neither.
After the Thick of It
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and you can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
There is a closing checklist your coach will share with you, you’ll take time to confirm you’re comfortable in the new parenting systems set up, and you’ll get to talk with your coach about dating and new relationships. Go be awesome in this new chapter of your life!